The Christian Opinion: Sermons and Discussions Related to the Bible

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Go to http://www.bib-arch.org/travel-study/bible-fest-2010.asp for more information.

By Doug Warren

Intro:

When there has been a sudden loss, one which has produced many questions in our minds. When an unexplainable tragedy strikes, God has some definite instructions for us. Let us consider them briefly:

I. RECOGNIZE THAT THERE ARE THINGS WE CANNOT
UNDERSTAND.

1. We could “wrestle”with the”whys” of this for an eternity, and still not come up with an answer.

2. There are so many things in life that we are not able to understand, and this tragic event is one of them.

3. It is better to put our energy elsewhere than to “drain ourselves” in a futile attempt at trying to explain the unexplainable.

4. It goes against our human “grain” to simply accept events without trying to “make sense” of them, but this is one of those times when we just have to accept that we are unable to explain “why”.

II. TRUST IN GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART

1. It is difficult to trust God when you are in the midst of confusion.

2. One person said “If He could help me make sense out of what happened, then maybe I could trust Him.”

3. We don’t have all the answers, but we can rest in the assurance that the GOD WHO IS ALL WISE AND ALL KNOWING, THE GOD WHO DOES ALL THINGS RIGHT, AND IN WHOSE CONTROL OUR LIVES REST…THAT GOD IS WORTHY OF OUR TRUST DURING OUR CONFUSION.

4. His ways are higher than our ways…
His thoughts are higher than our thoughts…
His purposes greater than our purposes…

5. Whatever He allows, no matter how painful, we can trust HIM to KNOW WHAT HE IS DOING. (COMPARE JOB’S EXPERIENCE)

6. SONG: WHEN YOU CAN’T UNDERSTAND WHEN YOU CAN’T TRACE HIS HAND…TRUST HIS HEART!!”

7. Despite our confusion and inability to understand what has happened, we are called upon to TRUST GOD WITH ALL OUR HEART.

III. IN ALL OUR WAYS ACKNOWLEDGE HIM

1. During times like this, one of the best opportunities for witnessing is afforded the Christian.

2. We can acknowledge:
a. I don’t understand
b. But God is with me
c. God’s in control of all this
d. He loves me
e. He walks beside me through this

3. And with that kind of faith demonstrated in the midst of what we don’t understand, there will be someone watching how we handle this tragedy…and looking to see if Jesus really does make a difference. This is our opportunity to SHINE HIS LIGHT in the midst of a dark confusing hour.

CONCLUSION:

We have two choices: get bitter or get better; give up or keep going; let God shine through us, or give Satan the Victory in how we react to this tragedy. Let us recognize that there are things we don’t understand..this is one
of them…but let us TRUST GOD with all our heart in the midst of this experience, and let us acknowledge His presence and Power in our lives as we progress from this point in days ahead.

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By: Michael Gibney

(Sermon on: Psalms 103:10-14)

Psalms 103:10-14 He has not dealt with us according to our sins, nor rewarded us according to our iniquities.
11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His loving kindness toward those who fear Him.
12 As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us.
13 Just as a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear Him.
14 For He Himself knows our frame; He is mindful that we are but dust. NASU

1 John 3:19-21 We will know by this that we are of the truth, and will assure our heart before Him
20 in whatever our heart condemns us; for God is greater than our heart and knows all things.
21 Beloved, if our heart does not condemn us, we have confidence before God;
NASU

Introduction:

Samuel Johnson “How guilt, once harbored in the conscious breast, intimidates the brave and degrades the rest. “

Today I would like to concentrate on the unwarranted sense of Guilt that many Christians feel. I’m not talking about the guilt of sin produce by un-confessed sin but the feeling of guilt we have for mistakes we made in our past that haunt us still even after we bring them to God.

Guilt we experience as a result of un-confessed sin in our lives is a proper response. Sometimes this guilt may linger for a while as a consequence of grieving the Holy Ghost. That is a proper guilt. To ignore that kind of guilt is as dangerous as harboring unforgiveness against yourself. Guilt is made by God to guard the conscience. They become callous Eph 4:19 and they, having become callous, have given themselves over to sensuality for the practice of every kind of impurity with greediness.

However, there are those that may understand that God forgives us and they may even have forgiven those that have wronged them. But the freedom of forgiveness escapes them.

They feel no peace as a result of holding unforgiveness towards themselves.

1. Consequences of Not forgiving ourselves

The problem is that some of us seem unable to forgive our self. We think we are beyond forgiveness for what we have done. What we feel is a disappointment in ourselves. We feel like the greater our sin the less our chance of forgiveness. Remember sin is sin before God. So if all sin is the same in God’s sight, none bigger or smaller so when he forgives us he forgives all our sins. Nowhere in the bible does it says after salvation God forgives us of all our sins except….But when we choose not to forgive ourselves as he does, the consequence will be a self directed unforgiving spirit.

Amputees often experience some sensation of a phantom limb. Somewhere, locked in their brains, a memory lingers of the nonexistent hand or leg. Invisible toes curl, imaginary hands grasp things, a “leg” feels so sturdy a patient may try to stand on it. For a few, the experience includes pain. Doctors watch helplessly, for the part of the body screaming for attention does not exist.
One such patient was my medical school administrator, Mr. Barwick, who had a serious and painful circulation problem in his leg but refused to allow the recommended amputation. As the pain grew worse, Barwick grew bitter. “I hate it! I hate It!” he would mutter about the leg. At last he relented and told the doctor, “I can’t stand it anymore. I’m through with that leg. Take it off ” Surgery was scheduled immediately.
Before the operation, however, Barwick asked the doctor, “What do you do with legs after they’re removed?”
“We may take a biopsy or explore them a bit, but afterwards we incinerate them,” the doctor replied.
Barwick proceeded with a bizarre request: “I would like you to preserve my leg in a pickling jar. I will install it on my mantle shelf. Then, as I sit in my armchair, I will taunt that leg, ’Hah! You can’t hurt me anymore!’”
Ultimately, he got his wish. But the despised leg had the last laugh. Barwick suffered phantom limb pain of the worst degree. The wound healed, but he could feel the torturous pressure of the swelling as the muscles cramped, and he had no prospect of relief. He had hated the leg with such intensity that the pain had unaccountably lodged permanently in his brain.
To me, phantom limb pain provides wonderful insight into the phenomenon of false guilt. Christians can be obsessed by the memory of some sin committed years ago. It never leaves them, crippling their ministry, their devotional life, their relationships with others. They live in fear that someone will discover their past. They work overtime trying to prove to God they’re truly repentant. They erect barriers against the enveloping, loving grace of God. Unless they experience the truth in 1 John 3:19-20 that “God is greater than our conscience,” they become a pitiful as poor Mr. Barwick, shaking a fist in fury at the pickled leg on the mantle.

A. Self Punishment

We punish ourselves in an on going basis by replaying our sins. In doing so we place ourselves in a tortured state that God never intended. We wake up with the load of guilt, Ashamed before God and wondering what our friends think if they found out. We get up, play, work, and sleep in a self imposed prison of our own building. Jesus paid the price for our sins ALL OF THEM!

B. Uncertainty

We live under a cloud of insecurity. If we live under this cloud we are never certain God has forgiven us and we bear the weight of guilt. We do not know where we stand with God. We are not quite sure what he may do next or even what I may do next. We feel unworthy of his blessing, we can not worship, pray or witness. We pass up his promise of the peace that passes all understanding and we have no contentment. We forget that God has not rewarded us according to our iniquities.

C. Sense of Unworthiness

We have a sense of unworthiness as the devil does instant replay’s our sins in our minds. Why should God answer my prayer, he wont hear what I am saying. This unworthiness effects our intimacy with God, and our seice for him.

• Adults who said cruel things as children or engaged in sin as teenagers look back with shame on their actions
• Some women who experience abortions have had feelings of remorse deep inside like a gnawing, haunting feeling.
• Men and women who divorced their spouses carry feelings of guilt
• Parents who drove away their children from home and feel like they ruined their children’s lives
• My family and friends would be in the church if it were not for me.

Remember the scripture:

Revelation 1:5 To Him who loves us and released us from our sins by His blood

D. Excessive behavior

We attempt to overcome guilt by compulsive behavior in our life. We dedicate huge amounts of energy into work, {working harder and faster and longer to keep us form dealing with the real problem: The unforgiveness of self. No matter the frantic pace or how furiously we work our guilt is not reduced. We teach Sunday school, sing in the choir and visit the nursing home. What mighty servants of God…no rather what nervous wrecks! We live in a state of penance. This kind of Guilt is debilitating and driving. It hinders them in evangelism or drives them to evangelize to work off there feelings of guilt. It hinders them in prayer or drives them in prayer. It robs confidence before God and hinders our growth in Christ.
It breeds false humility- Well I am permanently judged by God! So people tell us nice Job and we do not know how to take the compliment, we say just given God the glory. We wallow in fake humility as we covet our past errors and focus on our unworthiness. We deprive ourselves! I couldn’t do that, I couldn’t buy that, I couldn’t go there. Because I’m BAD. God does not ask us to deprive ourselves to merit forgiveness. Believers look to the past, thanking God for his grace, to the present or the incredible things he is doing now, and for the future for what he will continue to do. What we are actually doing is saying to God, “Lord I thank you for your death on the cross, but it was not enough.”

So we do not accept Gods forgiveness and we double our effort. Do we really think God was not able to do it alone and he needs our help?

2. Causes for not forgiving our self!

A. Performance Based forgiveness

“Mom can I have a cookie?” She said, “if you are good!” If I clean my room, Mom will let me do this; if I take out the trash Dad will let me do that; Etc. Then when it comes to the Grace of God and biblical teaching its no assembly required. No performance required Gods forgiveness is in a category by itself.

B. Disappointment in Self

God has done a marvelous work in your life then you blow it! You are so disappoint and angry at yourself. How can you disappoint God who already knows what we are going to do? Disappointment is unfulfilled expectations. God know we are going to blow it sometimes but that is what grace is all about. Our expectation of repeated sin hinders us! I realize that God doesn’t forgive us so we can flippantly sin again, but Gods; forgiveness is inclusive of all sin. God forgives us every time we sin so we must forgive ourselves.We are so used to guilt it is hard to surrender it. Being free from it is almost threatening. We have to change our thinking.
3. Confidence in forgiving ourselves

It seems to me in are the theme of the New Testament of the greatest is our Justification and assurance before God. Confidence!

Not sinless perfection, but no unconfessed sin in the life. Confidence is literally, boldness or freedom in speaking.

Heb 4:16 Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.
Heb 10:19 Therefore, brethren, since we have confidence to enter the holy place by the blood of Jesus,

Heb 10:35-36 Therefore, do not throw away your confidence, which has a great reward.
36 For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God, you may receive what was promised.

1 John 5:14 This is the confidence which we have before Him, that, if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us.

1 John 3:21 Beloved, if our heart does not condemn us, we have confidence before God;

How can we forgive ourselves?

1. Recognize the problem: I have not forgiven myself so I am in bondage

2. Repent of Sin: We must repent of the sin of not forgiving our self. Unforgiveness of ourselves is not in keeping with God’s word. Thanks him for his forgiveness

3. Reaffirm your trust: We must reaffirm the testimony of Scripture

Psalms 103:12 As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us.

4. Confess your freedom: “Lord Jesus on the basis of your word, by an act of faith. I here and now forgive myself because you have already forgiven me. I accept my forgiveness and choose to be free form all that I have held against myself. Please confirm you this freedom by the power of your presence and peace I Jesus name.

By: Marc Axelrod

(Sermon on: Psalms 127:1-5)

I read about a woman who came to visit the Rev. Charles Spurgeon. She said to him, “Reverend, I really feel God calling me to the ministry.” Spurgeon asked her, “Are you married?” She said, “Yes I am.” He then asked her, “Do you have any children?” And she said, “Yes, I have 13 kids.”

And Spurgeon replied, “Well, praise God, not only has he called you into the ministry. But he’s even given you a congregation!”

I think the Reverend is right. Raising children IS a ministry. Psalm 127:3 teaches us that families are a blessing from God.

But for some of you, it’s been more of a misery than a ministry. Some of you are struggling right now because you’re not getting along with one of your children. You can tell by the tone of their voice that they don’t respect you. It seems as though every conversation ends in a fight. And it leaves you all tense and rattled.

Some of you go to bed worried. Because you don’t know where your kids are. Or what they’re doing. Some of you are living with guilt and pain: “If I had been a better parent, my son wouldn’t be involved with alcohol. My daughter would go to church more. My kids would make better choices. I’m a failure! I tried to be the best parent that I could be. I did the best that I could. But my best wasn’t good enough.”

If you’ve ever felt that way, I want you to remember this: In all of human history, there has only been one perfect parent. You know who that is? God. And he knows what it feels like to be heartbroken over how his kids behave. Remember in Exodus 32 when the Israelites worshiped the golden calf? God was like, “I don’t know what I’m going to do with these people anymore! How could they do that to me after all I’ve done for them? I’m ready to kill them right now!”

And in Luke 19, we see Jesus. Weeping over Jerusalem. Because they won’t listen to him, either.

So you are not alone. God himself knows how tough it is being a parent. He knows the pain and heartache that some of you feel.

And in the Bible, he gives us some tips to help us out. The first thing is that we must learn to understand our kids. The number one complaint kids have about their parents is “You guys don’t understand me! How can you sit there and boss me around? And tell me what to do? When you don’t even know me anymore? Or who my friends are? Or what I’m like when I’m with my friends? You still think I’m that little girl you used to dress up in pigtails. But I’m not.”

One of the things that makes God such a good parent is that he understands us. Psalm 103:14 says “He knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are just dust.” And Psalm 139:13 says that he knew us in the womb. He knows our personality. What makes us tick. And that each one of us has different abilities. And that’s what we need to remember about our kids.

Last year, Jeanne and I took Molly to T Ball practice. The coach’s son is also on the team. And after a few minutes, it became clear that the son didn’t really want to be there. When the batter hit the ball, he was busy looking up at the sky. Or watching the other kids play on the playground. And when the ball came his way, he usually went the other way! And the dad kept yelling at him, “How many times have I told you to pay attention? And keep your glove on the ground? Why can’t you show a little more interest?”

But that was exactly the point. The boy WASN’T interested. Maybe the dad was trying too hard to force his son to be something that he didn’t really want to be. Maybe he just didn’t understand that his son doesn’t like T-Ball.

One thing I should say about my folks is that they allowed me the chance to discover who I really was. They let me go to chess tournaments. And take guitar lessons. And play soccer. And even though they weren’t in favor of me becoming a minister, they never suggested that I should be anything other than what I wanted to be. They were trying the best that they could to be understanding and supportive. And I love them for that.

We also need to remember how tough it is to be a teenager. Have you guys ever seen the movie “Big?” With Tom Hanks? He makes a wish. And he turns from a 13 year old into a thirty year old. And at the end of the movie, he makes a wish to go back to being 13. And he says to his girlfriend, “Maybe you can come back with me?” And she says, “Nooooo!!!! It was tough enough the first time! I’m not going through THAT again!”

She’s right. The teen years are tough. Britney Spears has a song that goes like this: “I’m not a girl. Not yet a woman. And I’ll need is time. A moment that is mine. To live in this in between. I’m not a girl.”

The song does a good job of describing how confusing the teen years can be. How hard it can be to adjust. And find acceptance.

There’s a story in 1 Samuel 17. David is a teenager. And his father sends him to the battle front to see how his brothers are doing. And when he gets there, his older brothers give him a hard time. “David, what are you doing here? You’re just a kid. I know how wicked and conceited your heart is. You just came to watch the battle!”

And David is like, “Guys, that is not fair! You don’t know me! Can’t I speak for myself?”

And even though David was a misunderstood teenager, by the end of the chapter, he was a teenage hero. The one who killed Goliath with a single slingshot.

The message is that God can use young people in powerful ways. We simply need to be more supportive and understanding of what they face in life.

The second thing we need to do is to accept our children as they are. I was reading about the Olympic swimmer Greg Louganis. In 1988, he hit his head in a diving accident. The doctors stitched his head. And the next day, he came back and he won the gold medal on his final performance with an incredible reverse three-and-a-half somersault tuck. It was a breathtaking finish that brought Americans to their feet. Later on, reporters asked him, “What were you thinking about as you prepared for your final dive?”

Louganis’ simple answer was, “I was thinking that no matter what happens, my mother will still love me. Once when I was a kid, I had a bad day at diving. And my mom took me aside and said, “Son, I do not come to see you win. I come to see you dive. Just do your best! I will love you no matter what.”

Greg’s mom knew something about unconditional love and acceptance. Romans 15:7 says “Accept one another just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.” God accepted you. With all your sin. And your imperfections. And your less than perfect report cards. And your freckles. And your rock and roll music. And your 70’s clothing. And he loves you anyway. We need to extend that same unconditional acceptance to our kids. Even if their grades aren’t the best. And even if they’re not the best athletes. We need to love and accept our kids as the gift of God that they are.

The third thing we need to do is to discipline our children. Proverbs 13:24 says that he who loves his son is careful to discipline him. Now let me just say that discipline is not something you do when you’re in the heat of anger. If you feel angry enough to discipline your kid, then it’s probably not the right time to discipline him. Discipline is something you do out of love. Because you want the best for your child.

When I got caught shoplifting back in 6th grade, my mom grounded me for the rest of the summer of 1979. She didn’t do it because she hated me. She did it because she loved me so much that she wanted to make sure that I never shoplifted again. And it worked! I never shoplifted ever again.

God is the same way with us. Hebrews 12:6 says that “The Lord disciplines those that he loves.”

The fourth thing we need to do is to express love to our children. I remember one time when Molly came to visit. I was playing video games with her. And she beat me at the last second. And I pretended to be mad. And I said, “How dare you beat your uncle Marc in his own house? And at his own video game?” And then I picked her up in my arms and said, “I love you, Molly.” And she smiled and said, “What?” And I said, “I love you Molly.” And she smiled even bigger and said, “WHAT?” And I said, “I love you!” And she said “WHAT!!!!???” She couldn’t get enough of being told how much she was loved.

That’s how God is with us in the Bible. Psalm 145:17 says that he is loving toward all he has made. In Jeremiah 31:3, he says “I have loved you with an everlasting love.” And in Deuteronomy chapter 7, Moses tells the Israelites that God did not set his affection on you and choose you because you were more numerous than other peoples. But it was because the LORD loved you!”
Throughout scripture God is always telling us how much he loves us. We need to be just as affectionate with our own kids as God is with us.

Dr Dobson says that there are three ways that we can show love to our kids. Affection. Affirmation. And Attention. We show affection by hugging our kids. Pats on the back. Kisses. Things like that. Studies have shown that mothers are 6 times more affectionate than dads. So guys, you gotta get on the ball. Hug your kids today. Pat them on the back. Kiss them.

And you can show affirmation by telling them how much they mean to you. I got a lot of nice presents on my wedding day. But the best one of all was when my dad came up to me before the service and said, “Marc, I’m so proud of you. I’m so proud of what you’ve done with your life. And I love you.” I still treasure that moment of affirmation as one of the greatest moments of my life. With all my heart, I encourage you to create that kind of moment with your kids. Tell them that you love them. Make them feel good.

And a third way to express your love to them is to give them the time and attention they deserve. Jesus gave three years of his life for his disciples. Loving them. teaching them. And training them. God help us to give that kind of time and love to our little disciples at home.

I was reading about a boy whose dad had promised to take him to the circus But right before they were supposed to leave, the dad got a call from work. They said that they needed him to come in. The boy got up from the table and started to cry. But then he heard his father say, “I can’t come in tonight. I promised my son I’d take him to the circus.” And he hung up the phone.

And his wife smiled and said to him, “The circus will come back someday, you know.”

And the dad said, “That’s true. But childhood won’t.”

Years later, the boy became a minister. And he said, “From that moment on, I knew that my dad truly loved me.”

You can tell somebody that you love them. But nothing says it quite so well as the gift of time. Taking your kids to the circus. Playing board games. Giving piggyback rides. Going fishing. These simple activities can build bridges of love between you and your kids.

When my mom comes to visit me, the best part of the visit is when we go for a long walk down Schneider road. Because that’s when we get to talk. And go beyond the surface. Make sure that you’re not too busy to spend that kind of time with your kids.

A fifth thing to remember as you raise your children is to be consistent. Psalm 145:17 says that the Lord is righteous in ALL his ways.” God is consistently fair and loving toward us. And that’s the way we need to be in the home.

I was reading about Dr. Dobson. He took his family on a ski trip. The weather was nasty all week. They could hardly get any skiing in. On Sunday morning, they woke up. And it was a beautiful day. Amd it was also the last day of their vacation. And Dr Dobson’s daughter said, “Dad, can we skip church today so we can ski one more time?”

And Dr Dobson said, “I don’t know. We’ve never missed church before.”

And she said, “Oh please dad, just this one time?”

And Dr Dobson looked outside. And how nice it was. And he said to the kids, “Oh, alright. Let’s ski!”

And the girl said, “Yeahhhhh!!!!!” And they got their coats on and went outside.

But Dr Dobson’s oldest son Ryan saw what happened. And he went up to Dr Dobson. And said, “Dad, I’ve never seen you compromise before. If skipping church was wrong in the past, then it’s still wrong today.”

Dr Dobson said, “My son’s words hit me like a blow from a hammer. I eventually regained my composure and said the words he needed to hear. “Ryan, you’re right.” And instead of skiing that day, they went to church in a nearby town. They extended their vacation and had a great time on the slopes the next day.

Your kids are watching you all the time. They know whether or not you’re a person who stands by their moral convictions. And if you want them to know the truth and live the truth, it’s important that you do.

Raising children is a hard job. The way to be a better parent is to surrender your life to your heavenly parent. I invite you to accept Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Savior. Let God be your source of parental strength. And watch him work miracles in the life of your family. Let’s pray.

By: Melvin M. Newland

(Sermon on: Galatians 5:22)

We have been looking at the fruit of the Spirit as presented by the Apostle Paul in the 5th chapter of Galatians. He tells us that when we’re filled with the Holy Spirit we’ll evidence the fruit of the Spirit in our lives, “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, & self-control.”

PROP. Now we have already looked at the first three – love, joy, & peace. And this morning we’ll look at patience. I cannot think of a virtue that is more desperately needed, or harder to produce in our lives, than patience.

ILL. The story is told of a young Christian who went to an older Christian for help. “Will you please pray for me that I may be more patient?” he asked. So they knelt together & the old man began to pray. “Lord, send this young man tribulation in the morning; send this young man tribulation in the afternoon; send this young man…”

At that point the young Christian blurted out, “No, no, I didn’t ask you to pray for tribulation. I wanted you to pray for patience.” “Ah,” responded the wise old Christian, “it’s through tribulation that we learn patience.”

I. WHAT IS PATIENCE?

Well, if that is so, maybe we ought to begin by asking the question, “What is patience?” Let me give you some definitions.

1. “Patience is self-restraint which does not hastily retaliate against a wrong.” That’s pretty good. When someone does you a wrong, how do you respond – with patience or anger?

2. Here’s another: “Patience is the ability to accept delay or disappointment graciously.” How do you deal with delay or disappointment? For some that’s really tough. Yet, patience is the ability to accept it without becoming upset.

3. Here’s another: “Patience is the powerful attribute that enables a man or woman to remain steadfast under strain – & continue pressing on.”

Maybe that is where some of you are. You’re dealing with difficult circumstances. You’re a raising a child, or you’re caring for aging parents, or maybe you have a loved one who is ill & you’ve spent long hours at the hospital or nursing home. You’re weary, but patience is the quality that says, “This too, will pass. It’s almost over. I can keep on keeping on.”

4. But here is my favorite definition: “Patience is a calm endurance based on the certain knowledge that God is in control.”

ILL. The story is told of an artist who went to visit an old friend. When he arrived, she was weeping. He asked why. She showed him a beautiful handkerchief that had great sentimental value, but which had been ruined by a spot of indelible ink.

The artist asked her to let him have the handkerchief, which he returned to her by mail a few days later. When she opened the package she could hardly believe her eyes. The artist, using the inkblot as a base, had drawn on the handkerchief a design of great beauty. Now it was more beautiful & more valuable than ever.

APPL. Sometimes the tragedies that break our hearts can become the basis for a more beautiful design in our lives. Be patient with the hurts over which you have no control. In God’s hands they may even become a source of healing, help, & beauty.

II. IT IS DIFFICULT TO DEVELOP PATIENCE

Well, as desirable as patience may be, as the young Christian found out, it is not easy to develop patience.

A. For instance, I think developing patience is difficult because it goes against human nature. We aren’t born patient, are we?

ILL. When a baby wakes up in the middle of the night & is hungry, or its diaper is wet, it doesn’t lie there & think, “I know Mom & Dad are tired. So I’ll just wait until a more convenient time to let them know that I need something to eat or my diaper changed.”

No! That baby cries impatiently & continues to cry until it receives the attention it demands. Children aren’t very patient. Have you ever traveled with a child? That can be quite an experience.

ILL. How about the little 4-year-old boy who was traveling with his mother & constantly asking the same question over & over again? “When are we going to get there? When are we going to get there?” Finally, the mother got so irritated that she said, “We still have 90 more miles to go. So don’t ask me again when we’re going to get there.” Well, the boy was silent for a long time. Then he timidly asked, “Mom, will I still be four when we get there?”

B. Now here’s a second reason why developing patience is difficult. It’s because there are weeds of pride, selfishness & anger that can choke out the fruit of patience.

ILL. A couple of years ago a survey revealed that we have become an impatient & oftentimes angry nation. You see it at work. You see it in school. You see it on the highways.

ILL. A man’s car stalled in heavy traffic just as the light turned green. All his frantic efforts to get the car started failed, & a chorus of honking horns behind him made matters worse. He finally got out of his car & walked back to the first driver behind him & said, “I’m sorry, but I can’t seem to get my car started. If you’ll go up there & give it a try, I’ll stay here & honk your horn for you.”

C. Thirdly, patience is difficult to develop because it’s contrary to our culture. We don’t live in a relaxed culture. Go to most third world countries today & you’ll find a much different lifestyle. They’re more laid back. They think, “Whatever happens, happens. It’ll be all right.” And they wonder why we’re so uptight.

It’s because we’re on a fast track, & in a rat race. We’re in a world of fast food & quick print & expressways & 10-minute oil changes & instant cameras & microwaves.

ILL. There is even a church in Florida that advertises 22-minute services. Go there & they promise that in 22 minutes it will all be over, & you’ll be out of there. The sermons are only 8 minutes long. Now don’t get your hopes up. It’s not going to happen here.

ILL. One Calvin & Hobbes comic strip pictured his father sitting at a computer saying, “It used to be that if a client wanted something done in a week it was considered a rush job, & he would be lucky to get it. Now, with modems, faxes, & car phones everybody wants everything instantly.” About that time Calvin walks by holding a microwave dinner, reading the instructions. “It takes 6 minutes to microwave this,” he says. Who’s got that kind of time?”

D. I think another reason that patience is difficult to develop is because we have convinced ourselves that impatience is a virtue. So you hear people say, “Well, I may be impatient, but I get things done.”

We like “type A” personalities, hard-charging people who get things done, & somehow impatience is seen as a virtue.

But listen to the Bible. Proverbs 14:29 says, “A patient man has great understanding, but a quick-tempered man displays folly.” Proverbs 15:18 says, “A hot-tempered man stirs up dissension, but a patient man calms a quarrel.”

SUM. Patience is a virtue. And again & again the Bible teaches us that we need to develop this virtue in our lives.

ILL. A young man was very upset with his mother. They had argued, & at work that day he wrote her an angry letter giving all the things that he felt were wrong with her. It was a very nasty letter. After sealing the envelope, he handed it to a co-worker to mail it for him. Well, the co-worker knew what was in the letter, so he put it in his pocket. “Maybe he’ll have second thoughts about it. I can always mail it tomorrow,” he thought.

The next day, when he went to work, his friend was sitting there all forlorn, saying, “Oh, I wish I had never written that letter. I’d give $100 to have it back.” Well, you know what happened, don’t you? His friend pulled it out of his pocket & said, “Here it is.”

APPL. But in real life we don’t get them back, do we? In real life the words fly out there, & they continue to wound & hurt again & again.

III. HOW DO WE DEVELOP PATIENCE?

Well, are you convinced that we need to develop the virtue of patience? But how do we do it? Let me give you 4 suggestions.

A. The first suggestion is the same with every one of these virtues. “How do we develop love? How do we develop joy? How do we develop peace? How do we develop patience?” The answer is always the same, “Abide in Christ.”

Jesus, in John 15:5 says, “I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man abides in me & I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.”

So it is important to receive the nourishment that only Jesus Christ can give. We cannot produce patience unless we’re abiding in Christ, unless we’re walking in His steps, unless we’re reading His Word, unless we’re growing in our prayer life, unless we’re spending quality time worshiping & fellowshippng with brothers & sisters in Christ.

B. There are other things that we can do. For example, we can slow down.

ILL. Has it struck you strange that the company that advertises, “You deserve a break today” is a fast food restaurant? “Come on in! Let’s see how fast you can take a break today, & then get out on the road again.”

The Lord came up with the idea of a sabbath day – a day to worship & rest. Our bodies need it, our minds need it, our spirits need it. We need time just to sit & reflect on God & what He’s doing, & absorb His teaching. So take a walk. Spend some time in the park. Watch children play, & listen to birds sing. Read a book. Plant a flower & watch it grow.

C. Thirdly, we need to overlook the little frustrations of life.

ILL. Warren Wiersbie tells about the time he picked up a hitchhiker who was kind of a hippie. As they were riding along they came to a detour that took them off the main road onto a twisting, hilly farm-to-market road.

Wiersbie said, “I was soon fretting aloud, anxious because we were wasting so much time, & complaining about the chuck holes in the road that we were being forced to use. Finally, the hitchhiker leaned over & said, `Hey, man. Don’t sweat the small stuff.’” That’s a good lesson for all of us to learn.

D. But what about the big things that we’re just not capable of dealing with? What do you do when the big stuff comes along? What do you do when you go to the doctor & he tells you that you have a serious illness? What do you do when you lose your job? What do you do when your children disappoint you? Or your spouse leaves, & life is empty? What do you do?

The Bible says that there are some things that we just can’t handle on our own, & that we’ll never be able to handle them without the Lord’s help.

ILL. There is a beautiful illustration of this in the 14th chapter of the Book of Exodus. Moses has led the children of Israel out of Egyptian bondage & they are standing on the bank of the Red Sea. Before them is this great body of water. Behind them they hear the hoofbeats & the chariot wheels of Pharaoh’s army. They are caught between a sea & an army. What do you do in a situation like that?

They turned & cried out to Moses, “Moses, weren’t there enough graves in Egypt? You led us all the way out here to die in this God-forsaken place.” Then Moses speaks in vs. 13, “Do not be afraid. Stand firm & you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again.”

Now listen to vs. 14, it’s such an important verse. Moses said, “The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.”

SUM. So it’s critical that we be still & wait on the Lord when it comes to the big stuff because our God can handle it.

IV. JESUS IS THE PERFECT EXAMPLE OF PATIENCE

A. Once again, let’s turn to Jesus for the perfect example of patience. In the 26th chapter of the Gospel of Matthew we see Jesus coming to the Garden of Gethsemane.

Leaving the rest of the disciples by the gate, He takes Peter, James, & John with Him into the inner recesses of the garden, & says to them, “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here & keep watch with me” [Matthew 26:38].

Then Jesus went on a little farther by Himself & prayed. Luke 22:44 says, “And being in anguish, He prayed more earnestly; & His sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground.”

Then when Jesus came back, He found Peter & James & John sound asleep. Now how would you react to that? Here Jesus was experiencing the most terrible night of His life upon this earth, & they fall asleep, not once, but 3 times. And yet Jesus treats them with love & patience & kindness.

ILL. Evelyn Christenson wrote, “I wept as a cardiologist described Jesus’ drops of blood in the Garden of Gethsemane before He was betrayed & arrested. Medical science reports that only when humans are under rare & extremely grave stress do their blood vessels break & mix with the sweat in their sweat glands…

“I grieved at how Jesus’ disciples could sleep when He kept appearing to them with His forehead bloodied. And, since the skin becomes so sensitive when it sweats blood that touching it is almost intolerable, I cringed at how my Jesus could stand to have the crown of thorns thrust into His tender brow. Wearing it for us! And the scourging, & the mocking, & the spitting! For us!”

B. Now there is just one more verse of scripture that I want you to see. It is 2 Peter 3:9, & it says, “The Lord is not slow in keeping His promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.”

Have you ever stopped & wondered why God hasn’t intervened? Why doesn’t God send a lightning bolt? Why doesn’t God knock Saddam Hussein off the face of the earth? Why doesn’t He intervene when injustice seems to run rampant?

For one reason, God is patient & He wants everybody to be saved. Every day that He waits is just one more day for people to repent & come to Him.

CONCL. If you have not come to Jesus, one of the reasons He may be holding back His judgment is because you haven’t come, & you’re His child. And more than anything, He wants you to come to Him, too.

The door of salvation is open because the Lord is patient. The door to Jesus is open because the Lord is patient. Right now, the opportunity for us to be saved from our sins is still available, because the Lord is patient.

So we extend the invitation of Jesus, & we pray that you’ll respond today to what the Lord has offered through Jesus Christ. Will you come as we stand & sing?

Video Sermon (Click to View)

By: Don Jaques

(Sermon on: 1 Thessalonians 4:3-7)

Clarity or Confusion?
3. Sexual Purity
Feb. 8, 2004
Don Jaques

MAIN IDEA: God’s plan for our lives commands sexual relations be enjoyed in the context of marriage only. This plan is for our best. This plan is difficult, but possible.

Intro: Contrast the rules of Roy Rogers’ riders rules with the teen idols of today. Quite a change.

Where 40 years ago the culture supported the idea that sex was to be reserved for marriage, today quite the opposite is the case.

ILLUS: ABC will be airing a new series called “Doing It” based on the sexual experimentation and exploits of three 16-year old boys.

There is a lot of confusion out there about sexual morality – Today I want to help answer 3 questions.
1. What does the Bible teach about sex? (who it is for and when it can be enjoyed?)
2. Why should you follow God’s plan?
3. How can you follow God’s plan?

TRANS: Let’s jump right in and see what the Bible has to say about this controversial subject.

1. The Bible teaches that sexual relations are to be enjoyed within the context of marriage only. (Deut. 5:18, Matt. 5:27-28, Heb. 13:4, 1 Thess. 4:3-7)

Matt. 5:27-28 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Do not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.“

Jesus tells us that sexual purity isn’t just about avoiding intercourse with someone who is married – it goes to the heart of our attitudes toward other people. If we look at them lustfully we have already committed an indecent act in God’s eyes.

What else does God’s word teach us about sex?

1Th. 4:3-7 It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality (greek “porneia” which has a broad application to all types of sexual sin); that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God; and that in this matter no one should wrong his brother or take advantage of him. The Lord will punish men for all such sins, as we have already told you and warned you. For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. Therefore, he who rejects this instruction does not reject man but God, who gives you his Holy Spirit.

Does this mean that all sex is condemned by God? Far from it. God created sex. He created men and women with sexual organs designed to enjoy sex. But he teaches that it is to be enjoyed only within the boundaries of a lifelong, committed marriage.

Heb. 13:4 Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.

Many other passages could be quoted – but the clear idea of scripture is that God created sex to be enjoyed within the boundaries of marriage.

TRANS: But, the argument goes, why would God fill us with such strong desires, and raging hormones and then command us to keep ourselves sexually pure until we are married?

2. God’s plan for sex is for our benefit. (John 10:10)

The reason for any “law” like this is ultimately our good. God loves us and wants us to experience abundant life – not keep us from “the good stuff”.

John 10:10 “The thief comes only to steal, kill, and destroy. I have come that they might have life, and have it to the full.”

God knows the destructive power of sexual relationships when they occur outside of the commitment of a loving marriage. What is interesting is that it is not just Bible believing Christians who understand this, but secular researchers are discovering that sex outside of marriage carries with it a large amount of baggage.

Take for example the findings of Rector, Johnson, and Noyes, at the Center for Data Analysis. I’ll read verbatim from a report dated June 3, 2003.

Sexually Active Teenagers Are More Likely to Be Depressed and to Attempt Suicide
by Robert E. Rector, Kirk A. Johnson, Ph.D., and Lauren R. Noyes
Center for Data Analysis Report #03-04

June 3, 2003

Teenage sexual activity is an issue of wide-spread national concern. Although teen sexual activity has declined in recent years, the overall rate is still high. In 1997, approximately 48 percent of American teenagers of high-school age were or had been sexually active.

The problems associated with teen sexual activity are well-known. (STD’s, teen mothers’ extremely high probability of long-term povery).

Less widely known are the psychological and emotional problems associated with teen_age sexual activity. The present study exam_ines the linkage between teenage sexual activity and emotional health. The findings show that:

When compared to teens who are not sexually active, teenage boys and girls who are sexually active are significantly less likely to be happy and more likely to feel depressed. (25% to 8% for girls, 8% to 3% for boys) For girls who were not sexually active, a full 60% said they were never or rarely depressed, contrasted with only 37% of those who were sexually active.

When compared to teens who are not sexually active, teenage boys and girls who are sexually active are significantly more likely to attempt suicide (14% to 5% for girls, 6% to 1% for boys).

Thus, in addition to its role in promoting teen pregnancy and the current epidemic of STDs, early sexual activity is a substantial factor in undermining the emotional well-being of American teenagers.

Young people – you need to hear this! Your classmates, and in particular the media portrays that sexual activity is great, fun, exciting, mature. The message our culture is pounding into your head is that waiting for sex will make you UNHAPPY. But that is exactly the opposite of what this study discovered.

I’ll say it again – God’s plan for sex being reserved for marriage is for our GOOD!

TRANS: But it’s not just teens who need to hear this message. The practice of cohabitating with a sexual partner prior to marriage also has negative long-term effects.

THE NEGATIVE RESULTS OF COHABITATION

• The risk of divorce after living together is 40 to 85% higher than the risk of divorce after not living together. In other words, those who live together before marriage are almost twice as likely to divorce than those who did not live together (Bumpass & Sweet 1995; Hall & Zhao 1995; Bracher, Santow, Morgan & Russell 1993; DeMaris & Rao 1992 and Glen 1990).

• The U.S. Justice Department found that women are 62 times more likely to be assaulted by a live-in boyfriend than by a husband (Colson 1995).

• Cohabiting women have rates of depression 3 times higher than married women.(National Institute for Mental Health).

• If a couple abstains from sex before marriage, they are 29 to 47% more likely to enjoy sex afterward than those who cohabit.

If you are a single adult who has bought into the culture’s idea that cohabitating is a good way to prepare for marriage – you’ve been lied to.

Let me say it one more time. God loves you and wants you to experience an abundant life – filled with all the best. He instructs us to save sex for marriage because he wants to save us from all the problems that sharing such an intimate relationship outside of the commitment of marriage causes.

TRANS: But let’s be honest. Staying sexually pure in today’s society is extremely difficult. Nearly everything in the media brainwashes us with the ideas that sex is just a physical act, that it can and should be enjoyed by everyone as often as possible, and that there is no reason to reserve sexual relations for your spouse.

But even with all this pressure, you’ve got to understand that…
3. Although staying pure in our society is difficult, it is possible. (Matt. 5:8, 1 Cor. 10:13)

How can we stay pure in this oversexed culture? It starts with a desire to please God and dedicating yourself to following His word and not the culture or your emotions.

But I can tell you from experience that though this is a good starting place – we’re going to need to learn how to defend ourselves from the attacks against our desire to please God that come relentlessly.

Sexual activity is like a freight train. It make take a long time to get started, but once its moving it is extremely hard to put on the brakes and stop. The key is in setting boundaries for yourself BEFORE you get in a tempting situation. As any full-blooded person can tell you – it can be very difficult to make good choices about sexual behavior in the heat of the moment. That’s why I want to help you think through a set of questions that any of us should answer BEFORE we go on a date, or even consider dating someone!

Who will I date? Who will I not date?
2Cor. 6:14 Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?
Paul’s context was probably not a marriage relationship here, but a business contract. Don’t get stuck in a contractual relationship with someone whose way of life is so different than your own. But if that is true in business, how much more true is it in a marriage?

Missionary dating (or dating someone who is not a disciple of Jesus Christ) is a bad idea. Missionary friendships can be good – if limits are set – but missionary dating will nearly always lead to problems (either between the 2 in the relationship or between God and the one who is trying to be the “missionary”)

We tell BJ: when you get older and some boy wants to take you out he’s going to have to meet 2 conditions if he ever wants a chance at your heart: 1 – he has to love Jesus with all his heart 2 – he must treat you like a princess.
Similarly, we’re already teaching Ryan that when that day comes he needs to understand two things about a girl before he asks her out. 1- does she love Jesus with all her heart, and 2 – will she honor and respect him.

What will I wear? (ladies)

This is mostly for the women and young women out there. By “What will I wear?” I don’t mean will I wear the blue shirt or the green shirt. I mean – what principles will guide my choices of what clothes I’ll even purchase.

Let’s be honest. The trend in fashion today is for women to dress in ways that show more skin than ever before. It’s not in fashion, it seems, if the midriff is not exposed and the pants aren’t hanging lowly on the hips. And tops and dresses seem to show more and more of women’s chests and shoulders than ever.

What you’ve got to understand is that such clothes send a message. “Look at my body.” And when that message is sent to young men – guess what they are going to do? Yeah…they’ll look – and they’ll begin thinking about how they can do a lot more than look.
At the risk of sounding prudish, I want to read St Paul’s advice regarding clothing to you women:

1Tim. 2:9 I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety…

When you choose what to wear – go ahead and be fashionable – but dress modestly. If you do you’ll help keep the freight train from getting started.

TRANS: Now I’ve got a question mostly for the guys…

What will I allow my eyes to see?

It’s no secret that guys get their freight train started by what comes into their minds visually. The very existence of the pornography industry bears testimony to that. What we need to do guys, if we are striving to follow God’s laws regarding sexuality, is determine that we will not allow our eyes to take in images (whether in the media or in real life) that lead our mind to impure places.

Psa. 101:3 I will set before my eyes no vile thing. The deeds of faithless men I hate; they will not cling to me.

Job 31:1 ¶ “I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a girl.

ILLUS: I watched nearly the entire Super Bowl last week, but didn’t see Janet Jackson exposed. Why? Because as the MTV produced show got started I did a very simple thing. I went into the kitchen and ate some chips. Why? It’s because I’ve made the decision long ago not to set before my eyes any vile thing.

Guys – One of the best way to stay sexually pure is to make the covenant with your eyes!

TRANS: The third question that everyone needs to ask themselves BEFORE they get in a sexually heated situation is this

How far is too far?
As a teenager I always wished someone could give me a quick answer to this question. “OK I know that going all the way is wrong…but what about…?”

What I discovered as I grew up was that if I wanted to make sure not to cross the line into areas that were clearly detrimental to my relationship with God, I needed to draw the line a few steps back from where I needed to stop.

ILLUS: The tile semicircle around the wood stove.

That’s why I developed a few “boundaries” in my relationship with Ann when we were dating.
Nothing good happens after 11:00 pm

Bedroom is off limits.

Each person has to take a look at whatever situations cause them to be tempted – and create a boundary that will keep them far from it.

A couple other questions, that I won’t go into detail about but that you might want to think about are as follows:

What music will I listen to?
What role will alcohol or other drugs play in my life?

The last question you need to answer ahead of time is this…

What will I do when temptation is too strong? (not if, but when)

1Cor. 10:13 No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.

God will always provide a way out – but it takes a lot of strength and integrity to take it!

What did Joseph do when he was tempted by Potiphar’s wife? She had grabbed him and said – “Come to bed with me!” (A fairly direct temptation!)

What did he do? He ran. He got out of that situation.

ILLUS: There were plenty of nights, especially as we neared our wedding date, that our dates came to an abrupt ending. Things started getting a little too romantic, if you know what I mean, and I learned that at those times I had to just stand up and say “Goodnight – gotta go – see you tomorrow!”

I did this because it was sincere desire to please God in our relationship. And we knew that his word said if we wanted him to bless us – the best thing was for us to abstain until we were married. And let me tell you – that is a decision we have never regretted.

Application: What change is the Holy Spirit prompting you to make? (Ps. 139:23-24)
Psa. 139:23 Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

Search your heart – is there anything you need to change? A current relationship? Get rid of some immodest clothing? Trash some videos or music that corrupts your thinking? Set some ground rules for future dating relationships? Find a different living situation that will encourage and promote abstinence until marriage?

Closing: Good news is that God can restore your purity through repentance.
Is. 1:18-20 “Come now, let us reason together,” says the LORD. “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool. If you are willing and obedient, you will eat the best from the land; but if you resist and rebel, you will be devoured by the sword.” For the mouth of the LORD has spoken.

Jesus said, “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.” My prayer for you is that you give God this area of your life, and allow Him to work in you to purify you from past sin, and to keep you Holy today and into the future.

By: Jeff Strite

(Sermon on: Ruth 1:16-17)

A college man walked into a photography studio with a framed picture of his girlfriend. He wanted the picture duplicated. This involved removing it from the frame. In doing this, the studio owner noticed the inscription on the back of the photograph:
“My dearest Tom, I love you with all my heart. I love you more and more each day. I will love you forever and ever. I am yours for all eternity.”
It was signed “Helen,” and it contained a P.S.: “If we ever break up, I want this picture back.”

APPLY: How many of you think she was NOT totally committed to that relationship?

Real commitment is a highly prized commodity and those who have experienced it know how gratifying it can be to receive such loyalty.
God also loves commitment. That’s why He included Ruth’s statement in your Bible. In these two short verses Ruth tells her mother-in-law:
· I’ll never leave you
· I won’t turn away from you
· I’ll go where you go, I’ll stay where you stay
· AND where you die – that’s where I’ll die

That’s the kind of commitment God admires – unqualified commitment.

I. Unqualified commitment… that’s what God had in mind when He created marriage.
I’ve heard of people using these verses from Ruth in their weddings vows. Those in love have had it engraved on their jewelry to communicate their undying devotion to another. People recognize the value of commitment in marriage. And so does God.

Jesus said: “… what God has joined together, let man not separate.” Mk 10:9

In Malachi 2:16 God showed how much total commitment in marriage meant to Him by declaring “I hate divorce.”

WHY? Why is such loyalty important to God between husbands and wives?

First, because God regards marriage as His creation (not man’s).
When Pharisees challenged Jesus if divorce was permissible He replied:
“Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one…” Matthew 19:4-6
He goes on to say: “…Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.” (Mt. 19:6)
Marriage was God’s idea

Secondly, God prizes undying devotion in marriage because He desires couples to have Godly children. In Malachi 2 God says this:
“Has not [the LORD] made them one? In flesh and spirit they are his. And why one? Because he was seeking GODLY OFFSPRING.” Malachi 2:15
When Paul was talking to Christians who were married to non-Christians he wrote:
“… If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise YOUR CHILDREN WOULD BE UNCLEAN, but as it is, they are holy.” (I Cor. 7:12-14)
I can’t explain it, I don’t fully understand it, but this is one of the main reasons God hates divorce and prizes total commitment in marriage.

In addition, God used marriage as a model of His relationship with His people. Describing His love for Israel, God used a description of the marriages of the day:
“’… when I looked at you and saw that you were old enough for love, I spread the corner of my garment over you… I gave you my solemn oath and entered into a covenant with you,’ declares the Sovereign LORD, ’and you became mine.’” Ezekiel 16:8

Then in the New Testament, Jesus used the imagery of Himself as the groom & His church as the bride: “The kingdom of heaven is like a king who prepared a wedding banquet for his son.” Matt. 22:2
THUS, because Jesus is our husband we have this powerful promise: “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” Hebrews 13:5
That promise is almost an echo of the words Ruth used with Naomi.

II. What kind of commitment is necessary for a strong marriage?
1st – commitment to God. Ruth said: “Your God shall be my God”

There is an interesting piece of romantic thinking that believes… if I find the right one, the one I really am attracted to, the one who pushes my buttons and pulls all my levers it doesn’t matter…
1. what they believe or
2. whether they are a Christian or
3. whether they go to church or
4. if they even love God

ALL THAT MATTERS is the chemistry that exists between us. We’ll work the “church thing” out later. After all, why should this “religious issue” get in the way of true love?
To those “in love” this seems so right, so natural.

BUT, if that approach is so right, then why does God say:
“Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?
What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?
What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said: “I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be my people.” (II Cor. 6:14-16)

“Don’t be yoked together with unbelievers?” Why should God care? After all, my fiancé isn’t really a “wicked” person. In fact they’re pretty nice once you get to know them.
AND BESIDES, wouldn’t it be the ideal “missionary” effort to marry an unbeliever and then convert them to Christ? I mean – surely God wouldn’t object to that?

III. Well, God does object, and He objects for a couple of reasons.

The first one is theological:
God’s theological problem is this: “We are the temple of the Living God” (II Cor. 6:16)

In other words, when you became a Christian, God put part of Himself in you. His Holy Spirit.
Wherever God dwells, that is His Temple, and He has allowed YOUR BODY to be His dwelling place.
NOW, for a Christian to make an unbeliever part of that Temple that’s been set apart for God… hmmm, what would that be like?

ILLUS: Let’s say, next week, when you come to church, instead of singing hymns and choruses, we sing Show Tunes:
“Climb Every Mountain, ford every stream, follow every rainbow till you find your dream”
Or “Just a Spoon full of Sugar makes the medicine go down…”
Or we could sing old Beatles songs:
“All You Need Is Love, do do do do do”
“Eight Days a Week, I looooove you”
AND in place of the sermon we play a reruns. Reruns of “Everybody Loves Raymond” or “Home Improvement.”
Then, just to make sure our gathering has a religious touch we would close with prayer.
How would you feel about that? Would you feel like you’d been in worship? And what if we did that every week?

After a while, even the most jaded amongst us would object: “that’s not what we built this building for! We spent a lot of money to build this place of worship. How dare you bring in pagan things into a holy assembly!!!

But wait. God has just said that your body is His Temple. And He paid dearly to set aside your body for His dwelling place – the price of the blood of Jesus Christ. And we would dare to bring that which does not love God (the unchristian spouse) into union with that which He died to save? Of course God would object. That’s the theological reason God objects to “mixed marriages.”

IV. Now, the practical reason for only dating and marrying Christians is reflected in Paul’s question:
What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? (II Cor. 6:15)

What does Paul mean by that? Does he mean Christians & non Christians can’t enjoy the same music? won’t watch the same TV shows? don’t appreciate the same art? wouldn’t go on vacations to the same places? No.

I believe Paul means that when it comes to things of God a Christian & non-Christian don’t pull in the same direction. And because your faith will pull you in a different direction than your non-Christian spouse, that faith may end up being the source of division rather than strength to your marriage.

Jesus even warned about that: “Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to turn “‘a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law – a man’s enemies will be the members of his own household.’
“Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; and anyone who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. (Matthew 10:34-38)

The end result of your being married to an unbeliever may be that one of you will have to change to bring harmony to the house. It might be the non-Christian. Maybe they will convert and be saved. But too often it’s the Christian who – for the sake of peace in the house – gives up their relationship with God for the sake of their relationship with their spouse.
Now, that doesn’t mean that – if you’re now married to a non-Christian – you should get a divorce. In I Corinthians 7, we read that if a Christian is married to a non-Christian they should not divorce them if the partner has no desire to leave.
However, to knowingly enter into a marriage with an unbeliever creates a situation that will leave your union and your faith weak and threatened.

But by contrast, the more we and our spouses pull “together” toward God, the stronger our marriages will be. And statistics bear that out:
According to John Maxwell in his book “Building a Foundation for the Family:”
One out of three marriages end in divorce.
One out of 50 marriages end in divorce if the couple had a church wedding.
One out of 105 marriages end in divorce if the couple attended church regularly.
One out of 1105 marriages end in divorce if the couple attended church regularly and had
family devotions.

SO, if you want a solid marriage, you & your intended should be committed to God.

Lastly – if we want our marriages to be permanent, we need to be committed to our spouse. Our attitude should be the same as that voiced by Ruth: “Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you
stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the LORD deal with me, be it ever so severely, if anything but death separates you and me.” (Ruth 1:16-17)

ILLUS: A man and her fiancée were at Town Hall, applying for their marriage license.
After they filled out all the papers, the clerk said, “This license is good for 30 days.”
The groom-to-be was shocked: “No, you don’t understand, we want one that’s ‘till death do us part.’”

“Till death do us part.” That used to be understood. In fact, that phrase is still part of most wedding vows. However, over the past several years, our entertainment media has portrayed
* Heroes sleeping with a succession of women (James Bond)
* Comedies that feature “Friends” sleeping with each other
* And tearful romances where the girl and boy are sleeping with others until they “find each other” (You’ve Got Mail )

ILLUS: It’s little wonder then, that in a recent Gallup poll found that 73% of those under 45 regarded the idea of being committed to one person for life as being “useless and unworkable”

Let’s face it, without God – commitment to one person for life is difficult. Even for the most committed husband or wife, there comes times when they see someone else across a crowded room who’s prettier or handsomer or wittier – easier to get along with – than the one they married. And for a brief ugly moment they wonder – what if I had married them?

Without God – commitment is not natural. What’s natural (in a Godless society) is to be self-centered and self seeking.

ILLUS: There’s even been a new science built around that very thought. It’s called “evolutionary biology.” In 1994 Time magazine introduced this new discipline which maintained:
“it is to man’s evolutionary advantage to sow his seeds far and wide. Women, instead seek mates with the best genes and the most resources to invest in offspring. These strategies can put the sexes in conflict and undermine love.”
As an example, these evolutionary biologists point to the ape culture: “Among Apes, the greater the difference in size between Male and Female, the less monogamous the Male.” This then forms the basis for understanding infidelity and promiscuity in men and women.
In a Godless society – commitment is seen as unnatural.

BUT FOR GOD’S PEOPLE commitment is part of who we are. Jesus said to his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.” Matthew 16:24

ILLUS: For the Christian, marriage ought to be like the couple that had been married 39 years. They’d been through some stormy times, but in their tenth year marriage came the bout to end all bouts. The wife got so mad she pulled her suitcase out of the bedroom closet and started packing.
“What are you doing?” her husband demanded.
“I’m leaving.”
So without a word he got his suitcase and started filling it with his clothes.
“Now, what are you doing?” his wife asked, bewildered.
“If you’re leaving,” he told her firmly, “I’m going with you.”

So also, in marriage – if we’re to make our marriages strong & pleasing to God – WE have to commit to “going where they go, staying where they stay, and dying where they die.”

CLOSE: The idea of this type of commitment can be best be symbolized by the ring married people have on their fingers.
The Christian custom of placing a wedding ring on the 3rd finger began with the Greeks.
The early Greeks (not Christians) believed that a certain vein, the “vein of love,” ran from the 3rd finger directly to the heart. Why they tho’t that no one knows… but when you put those rings on each other’s ring finger part of you are symbolically saying that you wanted to be tied right into their hearts. You want to be committed to each other.
Now, when the early Christians exchanged rings, they worked their way across the hand beginning with the index finger and ending with the ring finger. The groom first placed the ring on the tip of the bride’s index finger, praying “in the name of the Father,” moved it to her middle finger saying, “in the name of the Son,” and finally, with the words “and of the Holy Spirit, Amen,” he slipped the ring on the to the third finger. In the giving of the ring, the early Christian was saying his marriage would begin with his commitment to God.

By: Jerry Shirley

(Sermon on: Hebrews 13:4)

It’s not common that you’ll find it. It’s not popular if you say it. The “in” crowd does not believe it. A preacher will be criticized if he reminds you of it. But here it is:

God’s plan for sex includes 1 man and 1 woman, within the marriage relationship.

Over $450 million will be spent this year on sex-ed, most of it centering on what has become known as “safe sex”. There is no sex safer than sex within God’s plan!

The world’s version of safe sex is not based on morality at all. Their theme is: “if you can’t be good, then be careful”.

God’s version of safe sex is abstinence until marriage,
I Peter 2:11
Dearly beloved, I beseech you as strangers and pilgrims, abstain from fleshly lusts, which war against the soul…

Biblical morality is laughed at, belittled, called archaic, and old-fashioned.

Entertainment: Rarely in daytime TV will you see lovers who are married to each other. (evening sit coms as well) If it’s not pre-marital sex it’s extra-marital sex…

Advertising: Sex is the #1 seller of everything from beer to perfume to jeans, toothpaste, and breakfast cereal.
“appeal to mankind’s baser instincts”

In the ‘60’s, Hugh Hefner said, “sex is a normal function of the body, it is a desire that man shares w/ the animals, just like sleeping or eating, therefore it is not wrong to satisfy these normal desires”.

Society has swallowed that philosophy, hook, line, and sinker. “Just throw off all your inhibitions, and if it feels good, do it.”

As kids we were taught evolution in the classroom…and now we are acting like it. If you tell a teenager that they are an animal for long enough, he will eventually prove you right!

Josh McDowell is one of christianity’s foremost experts on teenagers.

His research shows that in evangelical church circles:
65% of teens have had some kind of sexual experience before the age of 18. 43% say they have actually gone all the way. He asked them where they learned their values in this area, and 73% said, “from the movies.”

The good news is that of the 35% who had no experience, the vast majority said the reason was because of a commitment they have made to God.

I’m thankful for a handful of teens who say today, from this day forward, I will abstain until marriage…I will live by God’s plan…/adults who recommit to purity/faithfulness.

A Senator in Washington once said, “today’s teens are just hormone hurricanes, and you can’t stop a hurricane.”

I’m thankful for a power greater than a hurricane, He’s the Creator of that hurricane, He’s the One that kept my wife and myself pure for each other, He’s our powerful God!

We’ve allowed Sex to become a dirty word. What should be a beautiful picture of love, marriage, and home, it’s now associated w/ words like perversion/aids/prostitution/lesbianism/homosexuality.

Society is learning that there is a penalty for sexual immorality. But rather than coming back to God’s standards, and obeying God’s laws, society says, “let’s see what we can do to alter the consequences of our actions.”

Abortion: unwanted pregnancy? Just do away w/ the consequences!
Don’t let anyone get in the way of you having a good time!

3 Words:
SEXUALITY/IMMORALITY/PURITY
1. Sexuality
Sex is not a dirty word. Teenagers: your generation did not discover sex. God originated it for the benefit of all, within His guidelines.
Parents: Don’t make faces at me for using the word sex. Your kids are hearing lies about it every day and today they will hear the truth.

Older folks: Don’t look so holy at me for talking about God’s gift…you’re here because of it. (The has been only 1 virgin birth and you’re not it!)
Heb. 13:4 (on screen) “Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled.”

Listen carefully: When a man and a woman enter into a marriage contract, the seal of that covenant is their union physically. To give away your virginity before marriage is far more serious than you ever thought possible…as you give away the seal to your marriage contract.

Someday you will fall in love for real with someone and marry them, and you will wish with all your heart to give them the most wonderful gift you ever could, your purity, but I remind you today you can only give it away one time!

Married couples: Just as the physical union w/in marriage seals the covenant of marriage, so a union outside of your marriage w/ anyone else is what breaks the covenant.

Sex is not a physical act alone. There is a spiritual and emotional dimension to sex. If you leave them out, then you lower it to the level of animals.

That’s what the pornography industry is doing. Making women into things, objects to be used. “Bunnies” & “Pets” -Just animals. Nevermind that you have feelings and a soul and a heart.

Any blurring of the sexual distinction is wrong. Girls are wearing guys clothes and guys are decorating themselves up like women.

My wife and I drive around town and have to ask each other, is that a male or female? Is it a Mr., and Miss, or a mistake? The girl walks like Tarzan, the guy is walking like Jane, and they both smell like Cheetah!

Like the preacher who stood before the couple at their wedding and couldn’t tell bride from groom, he said, “will whatever you are take whatever that is to become whatever you’re gonna be!”

God made us different for a reason, and any blurring of that difference is wrong.
1st word: Sexuality…

2. Immorality

We looked earlier at Heb. 13:4…here’s the rest of the verse: “but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge!”

I Thess. 4:3 “for this is the will of God…that ye should abstain from fornication.” (pre-marital sex)

Illustration–Let’s build together An ice cream sundae:
Bowl—intellectual union
Ice cream—emotional union (like turns to love)
Toppings—spiritual union (share goals and dreams)
Whipped Cream—physical union after marriage

Here’s the danger: if you enter into the physical relationship before marriage, the other 3 parts stop growing immediately! All you have is the whipped cream…not in love…but in lust!

5 Dangers of pre-marital sex:
1. Counterfeit love
Relationships based on sex do not last!
Start w/ physical and then find out you don’t even like each other. You never grew together intellectually, emotionally, or spiritually!
You stand there w/ nothing but a handful of whipped cream, and it gets old, and you throw that away too!

But…if you start the physical after marriage, the other 3 parts just keep on growing! Then you have more than a sexual partner, you have a best friend who really loves you.

Real love is patient, pure, and unselfish.

Girls, when that guy says, “I just can’t wait”, you’ll know he doesn’t love you. When he says, “If you really love me, you’ll prove it!”, you take it as the insult of the ages and slap him so hard his brains ring like church bells on a cold morning!
Danger of counterfeit love…
2. Emotional consequences

Young ladies:
Studies show a direct corrolation between pre-marital sex and personal emotion problems…
Guilt/anxiety/loss of self-respect

Guilt is the most destructive emotion we can have.
It robs you of sleep, peace, joy, self-worth, and your fellowship w/ God.
It leaves you shattered, uncertain, and unproductive.
And you lose that “glow” that always accompanies sexual purity.

Hear this ladies, and I’ll tell you how men think…
…there’s something mysterious about the unknown. There’s something very attractive about the unknown.

9 times out of ten, once you reveal yourself to the guy:, once the mystery is gone, so is he…he’ll drop you like a hot rock! And that won’t feel like just another break-up, it will feel like a divorce.

3. Physical consequences
Wages of sin is still death!
Drunkard—in danger of scirosis of liver
Smoker—cancer in the lungs
Glutton—cardiovascular disease
Sexually impure—in danger of diseases w/ no cures. There are 7 diseases besides aids, which have no cure, and all carry long-term consequences, and all are spread around thru a crowd of people willing to have sex outside of the protection of marriage!

You say, he’s only willing to be w/ me, she’s only willing to be with me. Don’t be so sure! If they’re willing to do it w/ you then they’ll do it w/ others and probably already have.

When you go to bed w/ someone, you go to bed with their entire sexual history, and w/ everyone who THOSE people had been with.

The wages of sin is still death.
Danger of counterfeit love, Emotional, Physical consequences…
4. Marital consequences

I’ve counseled w/ people who say, “it’s ok for her and me to do this, because we know we’re gonna get married.” No, it’s not ok. Why?
Because God said it’s not ok…who are you to rewrite the rules? You may not marry them!
The average teen falls in love 10 times before they get married.
Even if you do marry them, you have reduced your chances for a happy marriage because you have chipped away at the foundation of trust. In the back of your mind you will always know that the person you married is capable of immorality. They were willing to sin w/ you before marriage and they’re capable of sinning against you now that you are married.
Then there’s…
5. Spiritual consequences

But, Bro. Jerry, don’t you believe that God forgives? YES I DO!
But forgiveness and consequences are 2 different animals. (ill.—line)
We think that both exist on the same line, that the closer we get to forgiveness the further we move from consequences…not so!

David sinned w/ Bathsheba, then committed murder…and in 2 incredible passages of scripture we see an awesome forgiveness that David requested and received–but let me ask you, were there still consequences?

Yes. God said, “David, you will live in a valley of tears the rest of your life. The sword will not depart from your house.”

He buried a baby that died. Then one of his sons raped his daughter And God said it was direct results of his sin.
Sexuality, Immorality…
3. Purity
How to stay pure:
1. Protect your mind

The eye-gate and the ear-gate are so important…the pathways to the mind.
II Pet. 2:14 (on screen) “eyes full of adultery”

Once upon a time a boy was born to Christian parents, he was active in church in the youth group. His name was Ted Bundy!

One day his g’pa introduced him to soft-core porn. After a few years it was no longer enough, so he moved on to hard-core porn. After a while, it was no longer stimulating, so he began to see prostitutes. Then he began raping prostitutes. Then he started killing them. He was caught and executed.

Men, protect your eyes. The Bible says, “I will set no wicked thing before my eyes.” Claim that verse.
Job said, “I have made a covenant w/ my eyes, why then should I THINK upon a maid?”

Get away from music whose theme is predominantly lust and sex. (difference between the sex spoken of in rock music and country music is one is easier to understand!)

2. Don’t accommodate sin
If you can’t walk into the video store and stay pure, then don’t walk in!
If you can’t flip around the channels w/out looking for something dirty to look at then cut it off! (John R. Rice: HBO/Cinemax/Showtime!)
If you can’t be alone together in that car then don’t be.
“Make no provision for the flesh.”

3. Decide in advance
Make a pre-determined decision to stay pure, and that you won’t date anyone who hasn’t made the same commitment.
Words of a fool: “He’ll change after we’re married.”
You say:
“It’s too late for me, preacher.” (I’ve already given it away)

Good news! One day a woman was brought to Jesus, taken in the very act of adultery. She expected to be condemned, but Jesus said, I don’t condemn you, go and sin no more!

You can’t change the past, but your future is spotless!

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